Wednesday, November 20, 2024

Poem: Homesickness


Homesickness

That hashtag on social media,
#rosewednesday, on a post I see
Here, far away as I roam these foreign
Hillsides gives me a deep longing 
to be back home where people know me,
My family, my friends. I thought
Climbing a hill here would make it
Less apparent how homesick I am,
But it intensifies with each heartbeat
As my blood conspires against me,
Letting simple tasks I love like hiking,
Wear me out; making a contagion a severe
Enemy as my very blood gives up the fight,
Bursting vessels in my eye making me blind,
Clogging the arteries of my heart, 
That heart that so longs for home 
Instead of these distant bilberried hills.
Where are the evergreen forests
Covered in the undergrowth of huckleberries?
Now it’s a well labored picking of bilberries
With the ocean in the distance
Reminding me just how far away I am.
No matter how similar the hills, berries,
Trees, may be, my blood lets me
Grow sick and tired and the salty distant
Waves might as well be my tears
For it is likely here that I will find
My final rest—distant moors
Of my ancestors, also distant,
Too distant to even remember.
So here I am alone, resting in my tears
Longing for the evergreen forests of home.

July 2023

About This Poem:

This is a poem about being homesick. I wrote it from home, so it was somewhat fictionalized, but based in the realities of being homesick when I was abroad in England. I haven't been to England for 17 years and sometimes I get homesick for it as my second home. Medical history and events mentioned in the poem are real, but recent, so they didn't comprise any of my homesickness when I lived in England. I just put things together because, in the end, homesickness is just about missing something. All these things, poor health, wonderful similarities, or lack of similarities contribute to homesickness. Even a hospital stay where you live can create homesickness. The things in this poem are what have caused homesickness for me. The photo is at the ancient stone circle in Avebury, England. I have been there as a tourist and loved it, but another time I just felt alone there, even with my family. So it seems to illustrate homesickness well for me.
 

Monday, November 11, 2024

Poem: Pens


Pens

I use these ball point pens
Writing poems and letters
And stories and the ink
Dribbles out on the page
In thoughts and longings of
My own as pens are drained.

Here we call them Bics after their
Brand and in England they call them
Biro’s after their brand but
They are the same, little tools
Used to form scratches bleeding from
The heart in black, blue or red—no
Matter the color they leave your
Mind right there on that blank white page.

October 2022

About This Poem:
It's just a simple little poem about writing and the importance of the writing utensil. Not my best poem, but still has some thoughts were sharing about what writing does for me and how I do it. I seldom compose anything without first writing it by hand, typically in ink but sometimes in pencil. 

Thursday, November 7, 2024

Poem: Recognize the Blessings


Recognize the Blessings

The flowers continue to bloom
Even when they’ve been left alone.
Cool weather and rain have left things
To themselves, grow as they may
Needing no artificial rain
But growing naturally just 
The same as if we were back east.
Blessings fall from heaven sometimes
But here, out west, they can be far
Between leaving earth parched and brown.
I often wonder if that makes 
Us more appreciative of green
When it comes of its own or if
We just grow too weary in our
Search for water that we hardly
Notice the green at all, the green
Muted by our excessive thirst,
Our faces gaunt with such effort, 
Fingers blistered and dirt caked
As we constantly hoard water
That the very air steals from us.

June 2023

About This Poem

I still have a sour taste in my mouth after the elections, but this poem reminded me that long dry spells are not uncommon where I live. The same goes for all of us. Maybe we're in a dry spell, but there are still blessings and we need to look for those. Parched mouths, or not, there is still green to be found.
 

Wednesday, November 6, 2024

Poem: I-90 Crash East Bound

 


I-90 Crash East Bound

Heading east to the land of ancestors
Is nothing new for me,
But age and knowledge of my
Wont to sleep in afternoon
While driving across the country
Has given me dreams—
Nightmares, really—
Of falling asleep at the wheel
At high speeds on interstate
Crashing violently.
Of course, I never die,
Nor do any of those
Who are with me.
We are left to clean up
The mess and pick up 
The pieces to carry on.

Maybe I shouldn’t view
This as a nightmare—
The ability to carry on
While being fallibly human?
Is that a vision—
Auto accident or not—
Or just a reality?

Either way
The cold night sweat 
Keeps me from sleeping
Soundly in the night.

June 2023

About This Poem:

I just saw this yesterday and typed it up today. It seems to capture my feelings about the election results, especially the last stanza. I have not felt good about our politics in America for awhile and I just want to forget about it, but...

Monday, November 4, 2024

Sermon: What is Stewardship, October 6, 2024, Grace Community Church, Potlatch, Idaho

 


I like to use the lectionary to prepare a sermon, mostly because it is there and usually easy for me to connect themes between the scriptures. Today’s were not so obvious to me, so I just did some brainstorming going so far as to use AI in Instagram to give me ideas. That is really weird, let me tell you. Try texting computer AI to see what you get. I said I was seeing connections between God’s care for us, our need to forgive and accept and it laid out an entire outline for me based on these four scriptures! Who needs a concordance if you have Facebook or Instagram? Needless to say, I didn’t look any further into that outline because key in AI is the artificial part, and that became overly obvious. I would rather give you some things from my thinking and experiences than some ethereally disconnected, emotionless computer server that’s quite likely situated in Prineville, Oregon, or the Silicon Valley of California. In the end, the theme of this sermon is Stewardship. I really have not had good experience with that word because I tend to think of it as giving beyond my mental capacity, always giving more than I feel I have. Maybe even shaken to the point that my wallet and coins fall out of my pocket. But I don’t think that’s what stewardship means at all. In fact, sometimes it’s just doing what you love to do, even if that does mean doing it when you don’t necessarily feel like it.

So let me start with my favorite of today’s scriptures: the Psalm 8: 3 When I consider your heavens,

    the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars,

    which you have set in place,

4 what is mankind that you are mindful of them,

    human beings that you care for them?[c]

5 You have made them[d] a little lower than the angels[e]

    and crowned them[f] with glory and honor.

6 You made them rulers over the works of your hands;

    you put everything under their[g] feet:

7 all flocks and herds,

    and the animals of the wild,

8 the birds in the sky,

    and the fish in the sea,

    all that swim the paths of the seas.

How is it that we, as a creation, are so exalted above other things? Why is it that our God cares so much about us knowing full well our flaws that He makes us rulers over His creation? I think the answer of why is less important than the fact that He does. We know that we have dominion over the earth and that we aren’t very good with it, but he loves us enough to let us be in charge. And, of course, we all think we have the answers about how to fix the problems we’ve created and therefore we need not listen to anyone who would object to us. But we, as Christians, know that the truth is in listening to one another and being compassionate to understand why each of us comes from such differing perspectives. This is where our ability to accept differing opinions and forgiving others and ourselves for our mistakes and sins is so vital to our relationship to God. He wants us to love each other, to get along, and to take care of each other and our environment. There is no separation between our personal health and our spiritual health, so being good stewards of what we have been given is vital.

Look at today’s reading from Genesis 2:20b: “But for Adam[a] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[b] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[c] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” Right from the beginning God has been looking out for us, keeping us from loneliness. We were put here to take care of not only God’s creation, but each other. That can obviously come through marriage, but we know that it also comes from our fellowship right here. This is the scripture that describes the creation of Eve from Adam’s rib. But not everyone is married, still, we don’t have to be lonely because God gave us each other. That also requires responsibility in accepting others, no matter how different or grating we may be to each other. We still have a responsibility to take care of one another as God’s creation and his stewards. That involves being kind.

And that means doing what we can for each other. We don’t need to beat ourselves up for not being able to do everything. I know that I am severely challenged with DIY projects around the house, some of that by the fact that I like to stay married and my wife is not easily satisfied with even slightly shoddy work, so I let her hire it out. That’s fine by me. I used to feel guilty that I wasn’t doing some things for myself, especially the things I knew I could do like painting but I don’t really like painting, so why bother if someone else is more capable? We have to accept our shortcomings and forgive ourselves for having them so that we can move on. I’ve lived here and taught some people who are much better painters than I am, so why not let them do it? We all have those areas in our life that we feel partially out of our element or completely out of our element. It may take over sixty years to fully accept that, but just do it.

The same thing goes for our abilities. I know my strengths in reading, writing, some cooking and baking, gardening, and running. Those are things that I can share easily and even do for other people. I don’t know how great I am at public speaking, but I can do that also. We all have those things that we can do, and we should try to do them freely for others when they need a hand. That’s what stewardship means. It’s not something that needs to be overly complicated. In fact, it’s often what you enjoy doing. And, I think, as Christians, we are not only called to share our talents, we probably enjoy it when we do it. So again, just do it.

Hebrews makes it explicit what God has done for us in chapter 2:8, “In putting everything under them,[d] God left nothing that is not subject to them.[e] Yet at present we do not see everything subject to them.[f] 9 But we do see Jesus, who was made lower than the angels for a little while, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone.

10 In bringing many sons and daughters to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through what he suffered. 11 Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.[g] 12 He says,

‘I will declare your name to my brothers and sisters;

    in the assembly I will sing your praises.’”

We are part of Jesus family. He made himself more perfect (a term that usually seems impossible for an English teacher) by taking on death and dying for us—God dying for us!—his brothers and sisters. That’s real love that cares for us. That’s exactly what stewardship is. Love for God’s family and His creation, not considering station in life, but considering that everything is God’s so we need to do as we are called and take care of it and one another. Of course, we fall short of that. (For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23) We are terrible stewards. Yet he still loves us because he made us. We have to remember that in those dark hours. We are his and he loves us beyond belief. So we need to share that love with everyone and do our best to understand it. That might mean Keeping It Simple, Stupid (KISS) by remembering that nothing and no one is here without God so we owe them respect and kindness and love.

Today’s gospel seems like two different stories, one about marriage and divorce and one about children. But really it’s just an example of God’s expectations and his love. Mark 10: 2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”

3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied.

4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”

5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’[a] 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b] 8 and the two will become one flesh.’[c] So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” He makes it very clear that we should not divorce if we are married, but he also explained why it was allowed in the law: forgiveness. Plain and simple forgiveness for our human shortcomings. Even the law recognizes how flawed we are, but it allows for forgiveness. Then the second part of the gospel lesson about the children comes fully to my point of Stewardship and what it is: Mark 10:

The Little Children and Jesus

13 People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16 And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.

Those little children are us. The forgiven children of God. The children that he made stewards of his creation, this blue marble floating in outer space, the third rock from the sun, the only place that we know there is life (in spite of our constant seeking) in the universe. What is mankind that he is mindful of them? We are the ones who bicker with one another, get married and divorce, treat others with disdain. We are also the forgiven ones who are called to forgive others, no matter their sin. The only way to truly pass peace on is to forgive and to love, in spite of our flaws just like God does for each of us. This is what real stewardship is. 

I know I have made it out to be something easy, but sometimes good stewardship is really really hard. Let’s face it. We don’t really like everyone that we are called to love, so sometimes even talking to them can be difficult. I think the first step in getting over that is getting over yourself and reminding yourself that any station you have in life is because of God’s grace. So give that grace to others, no matter what. And I know that is not easy. It’s much easier to just come to church, hear the word, go out and do it when it’s convenient and then brush off your hands after a quick stretch to pat yourself on the back for doing it. We aren’t writing resumes for the other saints to read so that we can get into the pearly gates. If we believe our lives are eternal our acts don’t need to be recorded, they need to make this world a better place. Eternity is now. Stewardship is work. And the biggest work is getting over ourselves. I’m reminded of that song “Love is something if you give it away. It’s just like a magic penny, lend it, spend it, you’ll have so many they’ll roll all over the floor.” We have been given a magic penny, so let’s go out and spend it and lend it. Here we are on this big blue marble in the middle of the universe backed by the creator of everything, not some AI Bot. This is real. Being good stewards of what we have been given is so important. Stewardship is compassion, forgiveness, kindness, and doing all of that while we share our own gifts and talents. Phillipians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness[d] be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 

If we do that, there is no worry about tomorrow. This stewardship is our faith, the peace that passes all understanding. Amen.


Thursday, October 10, 2024

Poem: Poetry in Darkness


Poetry in Darkness

You wouldn’t think there would be 
Any poetry in darkness.
It has an isolating affect,
Yet loneliness can be shared 
In the darkness.
Perhaps you light a fire
And still see no flame
But the intensity of burning
Sears deep, so deep
The pain makes you writhe
And cry out soundlessly
To that other one
With whom your misery 
Might penetrate
With just a silent scream
That no one hears
Yet somehow they feel.
Sensations like that
Glide seamlessly into our being
With the rhythm of poetry.
Lonely, dissatisfying, painful
Poetry.

October 2016

About This Poem
I cannot honestly speak to what prompted me to write this poem. I'm not typically depressed in any way during October, but perhaps something inspired me with the demonic things that sometimes surround Halloween and Day of the Dead. At any rate, I've always been fascinated by our sensations and the possibility of having them in the absence of any real thing to cause them, such as burning without heat. My only note to this poem is that I thought this was a descriptor of hell. The photo is taken during a show of the northern lights, but this one had little to show beyond a slight glow. Seemed to fit the poem.

Thursday, October 3, 2024

Poem: I Saw Your Photograph Today

I Saw Your Photograph Today
Villanelle

I saw your photograph today
And looked longingly at you there.
It was lovely, what can I say?

I know upon me you would prey
But the image was, oh, so fair.
I saw your photograph today.

I was glad you were far away; 
I had control when you were there.
It was lovely, what can I say?

To be with you I wish this day,
To feel your touch and smell your hair.
I saw you photograph today.

I hope it’s not too much to say
I’d lose control if I were there.
It was lovely, what can I say?

So I will be here every way
Desiring you as you are fair
For I saw you photo today.
It was lovely. What can I say?

February 2023

About This Poem
This poem is a Villanelle that I wrote about the webs we weave in toxic relationships. It's mostly fictional because I haven't really had any prolonged toxic relationships, but there have been some where there is some attraction, yet I can't help but know it is not healthy. This poem is about that.