I get rolling on these themes of great things in America and
now I’ve stumbled upon seafood. That just seems crazy that an inland guy from
that last state in the 50 to have been discovered by outlanders would be
attracted to the ocean (so many native Idahoans have never seen the ocean) but
I am. So now I best give praise to the more typical destination of someone from
Idaho: the seafood off the coast of Alaska. Sure, I like Dungeoness crab, but
it’s so much work for so little meat. You know how they say everything is
bigger in Texas? Well those people haven’t been to Alaska. You want to crack a
crab shell and get some meat? Try Alaskan king crab. One broken shell there and
you will have found yourself an entire meal. Melt the butter, please. Oh, I
know it’s expensive, but you have to understand the risk that goes into
catching those crab. Of course I don’t eat it all that often. I live off the
salary of a teacher, and a teacher from Idaho at that. But on a terribly special
occasion it would seem very self-indulgent to have one Alaskan king crab leg, a
baked Idaho Russet, a nice Northwest Riesling and top it all off with a bit of
huckleberry cobbler and a cup of coffee. There are worse things for a crabby
old man to be thankful for than Alaskan king crab.
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